It’s been a time of distraction.  Family and friends’ medical and emotional issues, House-beautiful projects, financial planning, summer-time events – plus headline news of world concerns, and of political and natural disasters. All of these things have a way of claiming attention.  I still have a book to write.  I am still in progress and if I’m not careful, emotions and distractions can pull me off track.  Since the book’s focus is encouragement for handling emotional roller coasters – I wondered if sharing my latest ride would be of any use to my readers.  I guess the only way to find out is to take the leap and share it with you, through the writing exercise I completed this morning.  It’s scary to be so open with you all – but here goes …

I need to write. It hardly matters whether or not I can use this as a launch for my next chapter, article or blog post – it doesn’t even matter if anyone else ever sees these words. What matters is that I need to write them. I need to show myself that I AM A WRITER – and writers WRITE.

I am 74 years young – or old – depending upon the morning and my mood. I’ve been knocked off my stride lately, or I have allowed myself to be distracted and meandered away from the point of my commitment.

I do have a passionate desire to share my heart and express whatever I may have within me that could do someone some good – an encouraging word, my quirky view of how magnificent our Lord is, and how much JOY truly exists in life if we can just accept it. I have dreams. I have hopes. I have ideas, and I am easily flummoxed by my own doubts, fears, and wandering thoughts.

DISCIPLINE is a word that gets a bad rap. It really describes beauty in life – but it takes on the harsh tones of Have-To, and Should – fouled by the MUSTiness of our prejudiced views so that we often avoid it, deny its power, or deliberately turn from it. I need discipline, and in rare moments of clarity, I want discipline … so why is it so hard to hold on to? Have you ever wondered ?

If I consider my nutritional plans (for example) – I find myself liberated on one day, celebrating success and approaching a goal. The next day may find me over-confident, chafing at resistance and fighting the urge to rebel, or just losing the focus that is sorely needed. The same pattern holds for many of the worthwhile projects that I hold dear – including my writing goals.

I have seen myself as a person with a Go or No-Go will. I don’t seem able to handle moderation (or variable speeds) very well. I am either 100% committed and joining the race (‘in it to win it’ as they say) – or enjoying the spectacle from the side-lines, on television, from the comfort of my recliner, with plenty of privacy and popcorn.

I know I am capable of following step-by-step rules or instruction – especially when I have accountability. If I have committed to someone else, I will do everything I can to avoid disappointing them, or breaking my promise. There is strength in shared commitment.

So, I ask… who can I confide my commitment to? To whom am I willing, and able, to be accountable? I need a buddy who is, able to hold my hopes (my goals) up in clear view, to renew my sense of direction. Who, without judgment or attempts to ‘control’ me, is able to offer the right questions, or encouraging words that empower self-control. Someone who will support, cheer and comfort me. One who will celebrate my victories (allowing me to dance and shout, without embarrassment or envy) and who will help me back to my feet when I crash (without blame). One who will call me on my ‘stuff’ — holding me accountable, with respect, and with utmost confidence that I can achieve what I have committed.

I had such a partner for almost 50 years – before cancer took my Dear One from me. I’ve been weepy for the past couple of days as I bemoan my loss all over again. Good grief … another distraction (pun intended).

With Joe’s encouragement and support I accomplished much that I had never dreamed was possible.

I thank God for that relationship. He was my friend. He was my playmate. He was my partner and the love of my life.   If he were here now he’d have something to say about getting up and getting on with my business.

He believed I could do anything if I truly defined what I wanted, believed that it was worthwhile, and realized that my strength is built on faith. If I listen with my heart – I can still hear his words of encouragement, reminding me that …“I can do all things – through Christ who strengthens me”. Phillipians 4:13

Joe would emphasize the most important point of that verse, which is that everything of value and meaning in my life exists only through Christ. OK, I have been reminded.

Our Lord promised that He would never leave or forsake us. So, as I ponder these things in my heart, I can give thanks for the love I have known. I can rejoice in the partnership I was blessed with for so many years. I can survive the loss because I believe (with all of my heart) that it’s temporary.

And most important of all, I can stand, dry my eyes; look up, and begin again because the ultimate ‘buddy’ I truly need (my Lord) is with me always… even to the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20 NKJV).  

May you be reminded that you are loved, and be encouraged today.

Blessings, love and laughter to you,

Marge

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PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS in the Comment Section at the bottom of this screen (scroll all the way down the screen).

1.  If you don’t currently have one, can you think of someone you could invite to join your ‘buddy system’?
2. As a writer, disciplined routine practice helps keep me on track for my goals – it also helps me to process emotions for greater clarity.  What routines help you?  Can you share?